Category Archives: Random thoughts

Flogging a Dead Horse

On average, men are twice as likely to use a toilet as a dead horse. Men also spend four times as long in the men’s toilet than females. If the average man visits the toilet twice a day, he can expect to spend two years of his life on the crapper. Adding Theo’s Theory of [...]
Posted by Jase in Random thoughts

The Ultimate Infected Survival Guide

Before we get started, I want to get a few things straight. The Infected are still human. They are as intelligent as humans can be and they are susceptible to the same injuries as humans, albeit their pain thresehold may be a little higher than most. They have become infected with a disease that causes them to become aggressive killing machines and therefore they should not be taken for granted. Survivors are what you're going to be at the end of this guide. Zombies are not infeceted, nor are they are human. They are the dead come back to life and generally lack the coherent brain function of most humans. If you would like to see some Zombies up close and personal, attend the next Nascar meeting. Braaaaaiiins. Accelearrrrrrrrrrate. (that was a pirate zombie).
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Online mating

She stepped on to the bus, bags hanging from both arms, her hair a mess and looking utterly defeated. As she fumbled through her purse in search of change to hand the driver, it slipped from her hand and coins danced and rolled around on the bus floor like teeny boppers high on ecstasy. She [...]
Posted by Jase in Random thoughts Tagged , , |

My 40 Hour iFamine

I can’t believe that in 1993  the only forms of entertainment at my fingertips were a TV with 5 channels and a Super Nintendo with a handful of games. How on earth did I pass the time with so few electronic devices? Fast forward to this evening and in my room before me sits the following. [...]
Posted by Jase in Random thoughts

Good Riddance

My high school reunion is just around the corner and aside from the disbelief that it has been 10 years since I graduated, I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic the past few days. Have I changed much in the last 10 years, or am I still the person I was back in 1999? Have I [...]
Posted by Jase in Random thoughts

Food diary

Day 1: Mum was artificially inseminated today by a man called Frank. He used an instrument not dissimilar to a turkey baster. Day 8: Mum hasn’t heard from Frank. He promised he’d call. I don’t want to be the child of a single parent. Day 31: Looks like Frank isn’t coming back. Over heard Mum [...]
Posted by Jase in Random thoughts

A misconception of love

Of the girlfriends I’ve had she seemed to be the one I would most likely settle down with. Sure, she made a split moment decision to end our 2.5 year live in relationship via text message, but that relationship wasn’t all that bad. Her reasons for leaving changed as often as I changed my underwear [...]
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Random thoughts

Thoughts bounce through my mind like fleas on a stray dog, jumping from one place to another in a fashion so random that trying to fight them feels near impossible. The thoughts themselves are completely unrelated, but as with strangers, occasionally two will meet and sparks shall fly that either fill the night sky with [...]
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Awesome

I am so awesome, that yesterday like I was like on my way to work, when my phone rang, but I couldn’t answer it because I was BEING AWESOME! And then when I got to work my phone rang again, and I couldn’t answer it, COS I WAS STILL BEING AWESOME! And then later that [...]
Posted by Jase in Random thoughts, Writing Tagged , |

It’s no box of chocolates…

Forrest Gump’s mamma says ‘life is like a box of chocolates, you never know whatcha gonna get’. One could argue that at least half that statement is true, and it ain’t the half that comes in a box. One thing is certain about life and that is it’s uncertainty. And I don’t need no Hollywood [...]
Posted by Jase in Me, Random thoughts, Writing Tagged , , |