10 years goes by pretty quick

March 10, 2010 in Me by Jase
In the last 10 years I have;

  • Lived in six houses – Phillip Island, Geelong, Caulfield, Malvern, Elwood and Kensington, with 10 different people.
  • Had eight jobs.  Interviewed for ten jobs and been successful nine times, finding myself in the fortunate position of receiving two job offers on the same day and the unfortunate position of having to decline one. I’ve worked in a hospital – as a cleaner, an orderly and an allied health assistant, in a call centre – as a customer service consultant and a level 2 technician, at the race track – as a motorsports photographer, in an office – as a learning and design consultant and most recently a learning and design specialist, and in a pub – as a trivia host. Read More »
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Forecast for 2010: Frosty

March 1, 2010 in V8 Supercars by Jase

Craig Lowndes had it, so did Mark Skaife, Marcos Ambrose too, and after watching race four of the V8 Supercars from Bahrain this past weekend you can be pretty sure that Jamie Whincup wants it.  Domination. Everyone wants it; just ask Max Mosely, but does Whincup have it? After fluffing the start from pole yesterday and falling back as far as 5th, the man who said he wanted to retire from V8’s at the age of 30 sliced his way to the lead in 7 laps, passing Lee Holdsworth, James Courtney, Will Davison and Mark Winterbottom along the way, who are no tortoises in a hare race.

Although they haven’t won the first four races of the last two seasons and then backed that success up with a Championship at the other end. That is something, for now at least, that Whincup has on all of them. Who knows what the upcoming season holds, let alone the next three or four. Who knows, Whincup might go on to win the next two championships, or as far fetched an idea as it may sound right now, he might not win this year. Read More »

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Flogging a Dead Horse

February 23, 2010 in Random thoughts by Jase

On average, men are twice as likely to use a toilet as a dead horse. Men also spend four times as long in the men’s toilet than females. If the average man visits the toilet twice a day, he can expect to spend two years of his life on the crapper. Adding Theo’s Theory of Kebabary to the mix, whereby the consumption of a kebab adds anywhere between 30 to 60 minutes to the following two to three bowel movements, and taking in to account that the average male will eat 1.6 kebabs a week, we can estimate that the original result needs to be multiplied by 2.5. This means on average men will spend 5 years on the toilet, which coincidently is about the same amount of thime that most males spend thinking about their penis each year. So I figured that seeing as though we males are going to spend so much time in our ‘kebab rebirthing stations’, we may as well set some guidelines for their use.

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Abu Dhabi: The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

February 21, 2010 in V8 Supercars by Jase

The first round of the 2010 V8 Supercars has been run and won with a somewhat unexpected although not unusual result with Jamie Whincup standing on the top step in both races. Given that he is the two time reigning series Champion, you might not seem all that surprised that he won both races, yet many things changed between the 2009 and 2010 V8 Supercars seasons, with one of those being Team Vodafone’s jump from Ford to Holden. The event at Abu Dhabi was therefore not simply the first race of the new season, or even the first time the V8s would race in twilight conditions. It was the first race weekend in two years where many hoped Jamie Whincup and Team Vodafone wouldn’t have it so easy. Read More »

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Apologies For the Inconvenience

February 20, 2010 in V8 Supercars by Jase

I’ve been hanging out of my pants for the 2010 V8 Supercar season since July last year when Team Vodafone announced a switch from Ford to Holden. I would be telling porkies if I said I was surprised at their switch to Holden but the decision still sits a little uneasily in my stomach. Sure, the days of brand loyalty are long dead and lately drivers switch from Ford to Holden and back again about as often as I change my underwear, so about once a year. But I’m a fan of commitment, of sticking together through better or worse, thick and thin, and it wasn’t as though Team Vodafone were struggling for results. I guess sometimes V8 Supercar teams and their manufacturers wake up one day and realise that they don’t love each other any more. Read More »

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Online mating

January 19, 2010 in Random thoughts by Jase

She stepped on to the bus, bags hanging from both arms, her hair a mess and looking utterly defeated. As she fumbled through her purse in search of change to hand the driver, it slipped from her hand and coins danced and rolled around on the bus floor like teeny boppers high on ecstasy. She exhaled a deflating sigh and her shoulders shrunk as though she wanted her body to consume itself. The whole picture made me think she was incredibly sad. Read More »

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Insight

January 5, 2010 in Me by Jase

I think youtube is trying to tell me I have a hairy back.

I think youtube should shut the fuck up and worry about it’s own back.

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Thirty Twelve

December 30, 2009 in Me by Jase

http://textsfromlastnight.com/view/56590
Merry Christmas.

http://nextround.net/2009/12/22/the-japanese-snuggie-happened/
I start today with something I believe everyone of us needs – a Japanese snuggie. This would have saved countless trips to the emergency room when I was younger.

http://textsfromlastnight.com/view/56681
Because heroes don’t come along every day.

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CBF

December 27, 2009 in Me by Jase

Things I can’t be fucked doing.

  • Going to work
  • Making dinner
  • Going to the pub
  • Washing my car
  • Getting out of bed
  • Shaving
  • Taking you out to dinner Read More »
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